The MeddlerDVD - 2016
Rating: PG; for brief drug content
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I've got a ton of work to do, so, you know, it requires a lot of research. I'm just saying, I'm not in the position to be very entertaining right now. I don't have any good stories.
-Is there anything you wanna talk about?
Didn't you hear what I just said? What I need right now is to write. Okay? This is my office. This is my desk. These are my co-workers (two pet boxers.) If I was in a real office, you wouldn't come in and sit on my desk and pet my co-workers, would you?
I spend... A lot of time by myself. And, well, there are a lot of hours in the day, and so sometimes I don't know what to do with them, and I call Lori... But she... Well, she doesn't... She doesn't want my advice or anything. I mean, I have nothing... Important to say. But basically, I feel great. I love my apartment. You can't beat this weather. And who doesn't love the grove? I mean, it's like living on main street in Disneyland.
I wish my mom and I were that close.
-Aw... well, maybe, when you get older.
What would make you happy?
-If I could be stuffed into a cannon and shot into outer space.
I can't live here anymore. There's no safe place. I mean, just when I want to hit the eject button, you move here.
-What does that mean?
It means that I tried to book a session with my therapist to talk about my mother, and I couldn't because my mother was there!
-You told me to go talk to her after daddy died, so...
Do you understand? Eighty percent of the time the phone rings, it's you! The phone rings and I think it could be a job, or a guy, or a friend, and it's my mother! Almost every single time. Do you understand how terrible that makes me feel? ... Please, mom, I can't do this anymore. I need to get a life of my own, okay?
And so do you! I still need a ride to the airport.
I really wouldn't know what to say.
-You just tell her that you love her no matter she's up to. You know, everybody knows their mother loves them unconditionally, but fathers have to say it out loud, I think.
That's crazy. I would kill my daughter if she died on a motorcycle.
-Oh, this isn't a motorcycle. This is a Harley Davidson.
Do you think there's a part of you that maybe feels guilty that you have your husband's money? Like you've been given this consolation prize... You don't know what to do with? Or maybe there's a part of you... That feels like maybe money is the way to save everybody. Or possibly even a way to stay in people's lives and be needed?
Anyway, every year the writer's pitch the studio their ideas. And the studio picks a small percentage of those, to pay the writers to make scripts. And then out of those scripts, they pick even a smaller amount to shoot the pilot, to... I mean, shoot the film. And then out of those, a handful actually make it to the air. And then an even smaller amount actually stay on the air, like Seinfeld or something, right?
I think it is so romantic, meeting on a movie set.
-Well, not really, I mean, plenty of people meet on movie sets. It's usually scandalous and home-wrecking.
I mean, you are, you are real proof that when one angel leaves this earth, another one takes its place.
I can't believe... I can't believe it's his anniversary already.
-I know, already a year. Unbelievable.
You mean two years.
-Yeah. A year from last year.
Do you ever listen to Beyonce?
Yeah, you know, she has this song, "I was here." Do you know that one?
-I don't think I do.
Well, it goes, "I wanna leave my footprints in the sands of time. Know that I left something behind. When I leave this world, I leave no regrets. To know I left something to remember, so they won't forget ..."
I miss dad. I miss my dad.
-Yeah, me too.
You know, it's really hard to look at you sometimes.
Because half the room's missing. And we're both alone.
-We're not alone. You're not alone.
This is what you get for following the black sheep across the country.
-Well, if you're black sheep, then I'm a black sheep. We're two black sheeps.
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