***Warning Profanity***
You. You know, you're the type of badass that I was susceptible to in my youth. I used to make out with my Stretch Armstrong doll, so this is, like, a full circle moment for me.
Danger. Walk away. That's a black diamond slope.
I lost a whole bunch of weight recently. Like, 70 pounds.
-Wow. That's great. Yeah, it's a lot.
All right, tell me something else.
-On, uh...I got divorced.
So, you lost, like, 200 pounds.
-Did you lose weight to gain self-confidence?
No. I think I lost the weight so I could gain a better view of my perfect penis. I missed the little guy. Not little. Medium. I miss the medium guy.
Hey. How's everything going?
-I'm crushing it.
How's the man-harvest going?
-James is so hot. My high school heart cramp has turned into a heart-on. I have a heart-on for him.
I have a raging heart-on.

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